The Cleanly Man

I’m living with three other guys, men, this year. If our apartment were any smaller it would more than likely explode with the amount of testosterone pulsating throughout this place. A normal evening here consists of infinite “That’s what she said” jokes, countless episodes of Deadliest Warrior, and protein filled frozen dinners. The cherry on the top of this manly sundae was our mascot Brutus, who was a badly burnt, and subsequently petrified, pizza (we finally got around to throwing him out because the flies found him).

Needless to say the amount of manliness found in this place means that dirty dishes normally go unwashed for a couple of days.

Of late I’ve gotten in the habit of washing any dirty dishes in the vicinity when I wash mine to help keep the dirty dish population at a reasonable level. I can only imagine the horrors that come with letting that population flourish.

I guess I’m “that guy” in the apartment. If you are a guy, then you know the type of which I speak. For all the lady readers out there, the “that guy” I’m referring to is the cleanly guy in the bunch. The one who irons his shirts, washes his dishes, and vacuums at least once a month.

Now before protesters begin camping out in front of our apartment door demanding my “man card” let me impart onto y’all why the cleanly man is still a man. The obvious reasons are the physical characteristics, but I won’t go into detail about those, just know the basics and you’re ok.

The cleanly man exists not out of fear of disorder, but rather out of respect for others. The cleanly man is a gentleman at his best.

The cleanly man does the dishes, takes out the trash, doesn’t let his hamper overflow, and other things because he wants to respect those around him, and not subject them to a type of unsanitary torment. I don’t do the dishes because it excites me. Honestly I’d rather be climbing trees or throwing water balloons at moving vehicles, but I try my best to keep our apartment tidy because  I want to respect my roommates and their right to live comfortably.

This does not mean that my roommates are jerks, actually they are the complete opposite of jerks, they just fulfill different roles. Some are entertainers, some have technical knowledge, some are good cooks, some have good ideas, and some are caring. We each have different roles that we fill, and that’s why we get along so well. If we were all entertainers, then we’d constantly be fighting for attention, or if we were all cleaners, then there’d be nothing left to clean and no one to help out with technical issues.

As with any relationship, it’s not about finding someone completely like yourself, but rather someone that compliments who you are. Through that relationship you then learn how to feel more complete and hopefully acquire some cool skills as well.

So if you’re ever at a party and a mountain of dishes start to form in the kitchen, don’t feel less of a man if your heart starts to burn with the desire to wash them, it’s ok, you’re just the cleanly man.


About farmerrobbie

My head is comparable to a field of good soil where seeds land and yield crops a hundred times more than what was sown.
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